An Ode To Fall (And This Moment, Right Now)

Football, music, and home life keep me more grounded than I’d care to admit.

It’s newness intertwined with certainty.

It makes waking up every morning not seem so bad.

I like gloomy, cloudy days like today because it justifies staying home and baking sweets.

When I went for a walk this afternoon I couldn’t help notice all the pretty leaves on the ground. I’m glad it’s autumn. I’m glad it’s this time of year again. It almost feels like a relief.

Unrelatedly, I finished Broad City today and I gotta say, I think it grew on me. I wasn’t sure what to make of it when I began the first couple of episodes but it’s really hilarious and I think it’ll soon grow into its own. First seasons of any show bring feelings of uncertainty.

I played an open mic last night, finished my 24/7 project this morning, and have a show tomorrow. I haven’t played one in awhile, but I think it’ll be fun.

I don’t know where I’m going but it’s definitely somewhere.

I’m thinking of going to a museum soon…It’s been awhile.

Can’t wait to finish Ethics and move on to Joseph Campbell’s collection of short stories. Spinoza isn’t easy, but since Kate Mulgrew read it, I felt like I had to. So I’m glad I’m getting it done.

As I sit here typing this, it’s nearly 4 o’clock in the afternoon on a Thursday. I’m listening to Tom Petty on low, glancing at football coverage on NFL Network, getting pumped for the Packers/Vikings game tonight. My dog’s curled up in a corner, keeping warm and I can’t help but feel content because it’s my favorite feeling, though it’s sometimes elusive. Because you can’t fake it or pretend it. It’s either there or it’s not. Thankfully it is, and I hope it stays for a long time – Perhaps to be prolonged by making a milkshake 😉

September Snapshot

My mom’s started going back to school to get her certification in Spanish Translation. I give her so much credit. She’s the strongest, most determined woman I know. I’m listening to her now doing her homework. She has to listen to these audio passages (some in English, some in Spanish) and then translate them and discern their meanings. They’re legal passages; I suppose examples of courtroom/law scenarios. She keeps repeating how hard it is. I can only imagine – and even that feels like an understatement.

I’m watching the 49ers game on mute while she does this, as to not disturb her. Also, I only have Vernon Davis and Phil Dawson in this game (on my fantasy team) and I’ve already won my matchup. I’ve been really getting into football, and can’t really figure out as to why. I think about it a lot. Like, “Why football? Why now?” Without sounding too cliche or pathetic, maybe it gives me something to believe in. Something to understand and formulate ideas and opinions on, without having it be so serious.

I’m also listening to Nonna in the next room. She gets these belching/indigestion attacks sometimes. She can’t stop and she becomes really uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s caused by antibiotics (which she’s on right now), so it’s probably that because she didn’t really eat anything crazy today that would’ve caused it. I hope she sleeps well tonight. My mom too. Both of them had difficulty falling asleep last night, whereas I went out like a light and slept a good 8 hours. I had a busy day yesterday.

My brother is in marching band. He plays trombone. It’s his first year. Hard work, but he loves it a lot. The team had a breakfast at the high school, and I told him I’d come out to support him. The cafeteria was freezing. I didn’t end up eating anything, as I try to stay away from gluten and dairy on the regular, so I just had some tea. The band had a really awesome performance. They have a really great sound and when you watch them, you can tell they’re all really into it – which I think is great. They were supposed to perform outside, but there was construction and it looked like rain. So they ended up playing in the auditorium – which was also freezing. I brought a hoodie but felt bad for my dad because he didn’t have anything. He ended up putting his arms in his shirt the whole time. I thought it was hilarious.

But anyway, we didn’t get to see the band’s steps, but they did perform on the stage with the drum majors switching every now and then. Even though I couldn’t see my brother (he was in the back with the other trombones), I almost cried a few times. Some of those chords got me right in the feels. Aside from the performance, I was really glad I went because I was able to talk to an old history teacher. He’s definitely one of my top 3 favorite high school teachers, and I was lucky enough to have him for two years – freshman and senior year. He’s the principal now, and it was cool to just kick it with him for a few and chat and laugh about things. It made me feel good about life for awhile.

And I suppose that’s what it’s all about.

I just glanced back at the TV: Chicago scored a touchdown. Niners are up by 10. The game’s a little less than half over. Kaepernick just got a first down. I was expecting Vernon Davis to at least get a touchdown or something. But I guess there’s still time. They’re in the redzone now.

Nonna turned in early. My mom helped put her to bed, despite my insisting that I do it since she has to do her homework. I’m alway railing on her, making sure she’s focusing and not on Facebook – funny how tables turn. Ha! It’s not easy is it?!

I hope the Niners win. I hope I get a call from one of the three companies I interviewed with last week. I hope things work out with a minimum of casualties and unnecessary pain and suffering. Not just in my life, but in other lives. I want to be able to look back on my choices with a smile and someone to hold close at the end of the night.

To close my eyes and feel okay.

Because that’s peace.

And peace opens you up.

I want to be open and accept the good – and the bad.

Because OM.

There you are.

5 Days of Gratitude Challenge – Day 2

Forgot to post yesterday, so I’m playing a little bit of catch up:

  1. SLEEP. Sleep is a marvelous thing – a chance to recharge your batteries and wake up the next day energized and refreshed. What a blessing. A good night’s rest can make everything 100% better the next day. I’m a firm believer in getting a good night’s rest and would never trade it for the world! I slept wonderfully last night, and now I feel I can take on the day with joy and confidence. Never underestimate sleep. If there’s anything I’ve learned in 23 years, it’s that sleep is your friend 🙂
  2. My brother. I have a younger brother whom I adore. He’s 15, and he really is my best friend. He’s taught me so much about football, being a good big sister, and makes me laugh like no other. There definitely wouldn’t be as much incessant laughter and joking in my life if it weren’t for him. We giggle about everything. I don’t know where I’d be without him. He’s super talented in many ways (writing, trombone, conversing about big ideas) and loves news and sports. He really is the best.
  3. Somewhat relatedly, FOOTBALL. American football, that is. This is the first year I’ve started my own Fantasy Team and I’m so excited! And I know today is game day, so I will have to wrap this up rather quickly. A few years ago my brother taught me how to play Madden and from there I learned the rules of the game and fell in love with the sport. Although it is a new love of mine, I hope to enjoy it for many years to come.

Do you have a Fantasy Team? If so, who’s on it? Let’s talk stats, people!