April Shivers

It’s so cold outside! There was that one 80 degree day last Saturday, teasing the impatient Northeast with the prospect of summer creeping ’round the corner. But it’s a deception! An illusion. Once that sun goes down and the wind blows, it gets to your bones.

And I laugh because when it’s snowing, people are begging for summer but when it’s so hot the power goes out and the AC breaks, the same dissatisfied urchins are praying for cooler days. Still, this particular cold confuses me. It’s like Mother Nature can’t let go, though winter’s over. May’s practically in a week or so, right?

This week I’ve jam-packed my schedule with things to do. I’m not sure why. But ever since i got back from Florida, I felt compelled to do so; to stop putting everything off and just jumping for once, especially seeing friends. It’s like my dad says, “Relationships need to be nurtured” and I haven’t always been the best at doing that. Though I try. I’ll give myself that.

And despite the fact that I’ve been doing this, caring for Nonna, baking birthday cakes, and trying to get my eBay game back on track, in my mind I’m still thinking music, still attempting to exercise (and now meditate) everyday, read, write, finish season 3 of House of Cards. It adds up. But I think out of these years and months home, I’ve realized I like to be busy. I’ve affirmed that for sure. Or maybe I’m feeling my break coming to a close. It’s like, since I decided I’m going back to school in fall, a grid fell over everything in my life. And I can see where everything stands and where everything needs to go. And I’m ready to move the chess pieces on the board to start this damn thing already. Pawn to E4 or whatever.

Bobby Fischer out of character with a backwards baseball cap on putting on chapstick.

Breath is everything, even when Mother Nature blows it coolly down the back of our necks.