Thank Gosh

Thank Gosh for movies, Thank Gosh for friends

Thank Gosh for silver tequila, Thank Gosh for the soundtracks from 80s b-side movies that no one remembers

Thank Gosh for two-sided conversations, Thank Gosh for car rides

Thank Gosh for heat in the winter and cold in the summer

Thank Gosh for water when I’m thirsty, Thank Gosh for the freedom not to care

Thank Gosh for silence and being alone and warm sheets and that moment right before you fall asleep that’s almost like the anticipation of a kiss

Thank Gosh for good-natured laughter, Thank Gosh for the listeners and observers with wide eyes and a full heart

Thank Gosh for the moment when anxiety leaves your body and you let yourself believe it’ll never come back, but also know that it probably will and oh my Gosh, this won’t last forever

Thank Gosh for the ability to try, Thank Gosh for clarity

Thank Gosh for now and then and now

Thank Gosh for that sunset this evening and that crescent moon with its sharpened blade

Thank Gosh for accomplishments making us feeling accomplished

Thank Gosh for fitting in with the out-crowd

Thank Gosh for all the memories, Thank Gosh for the ability to let some go

Thank Gosh for companionship and love, but maybe also for all the bad things in the world, so we can tell them apart from the good.

Thank Gosh for honesty and balance

Thank Gosh for the rules that I’ve learned so I know how to break them.

Thank Gosh for parents and brothers who care

Thank Gosh for forgiveness and patience

Thank Gosh for the nighttime peace that overtakes me as I will myself to close eyes and leave this planet for awhile

to enter the unconscious realm of dream that is connected with some dimension of the afterlife where maps exist and paths are being drawn and made and transmitted by radio into the synapses of our minds, making our hearts thump a little faster and harder as we wake up, trying to figure out what it all means.

Because we can’t take the map with us. So Thank Gosh.

because figuring it out is part of the journey.

And what is human existence without that?

You Were Sitting In The Tall Grass

You were sitting in the tall grass thinking about God.

Gazing up, staring into the sun

wondering why all these things were made for you.

You looked away and saw spots.

Didn’t cry, but felt a raindrop.

It made your skin melt.

You peered up as the breeze blew

and for miles and miles you could see the grasses,

coaxed from their stillness against the blue sky,

swaying like they were born to do this.

It looked

so

easy.

Too heavy to be lifted, your eyes began to close

to dream of a time when you never have to go home.

So you lay down

and keep quiet,

and stay hidden in the tall grass.

Dodecagon x ∞

Mary Poppins is goddamn everything.

My head feels like a brick after a long day of leisure

proving you can have too much of a good thing.

I suppose you’re asking yourself some questions.

You’re not the only one.

I know I’ve been thinking a lot about masks

and whether or not we really have control over our emotions;

about guilt.

It affects the breath in the strangest way.

I’m not even close to taming it.

And can I tell you a secret?

I don’t know what I’m doing.

There’s days I’m drunk enough to shake it off;

there’s days it scares the hell out of me.

But what if I never find a happy medium?

Okay.

I’ll be quiet now.

I’m a dodecagon times infinity.

Miserably eternal.

I’m everywhere so much that maybe it doesn’t much matter at all.

Every day is “to be continued…”

‘Til then.

 

 

 

The Sister in Me

I have a sister in me. A twin.

I never saw her before today.

She looks just like me. Spitting image.

But she’s wiser, less impulsive.

Kind smile, no judgement.

She hugs me and says, “It’s all going to be okay,

don’t get hung up on the past, it doesn’t matter anymore, really”.

No words leave her mouth, but I can translate.

I can read her mind because we’re the same.

Sometimes it just takes some deep thought and concentration

to break through our own mental, metal barriers

unknowingly created by ourselves

to protect and survive.

Although sometimes shields are double-edged swords in disguise.

If you just let it happen, it’s not that hard to

pull it out of the stone.