eBay and O-Ports

So as previously stated, I eBay on a rather consistent basis. Gives me some nice pocket change since I’m living at home “funemployed” and whatnot. Sometimes I pay off my student loans with it, other times it’s nice to buy a cheapie record or gear for my guitar (like this awesome O-Port I just got). So if you’d like to see what I have for sale, click here. Sometimes it’s jewelry, others games or just other odds and ends I find at my house or Nonna’s house that no one’s really using anymore. Check it out for sure! I like to think my positive reviews speak for themselves 🙂

About the O-Port: It’s a type of feedback suppressor I heard really good things about (after hours of intense research and checking with my guitar tech) that also allows me to humidify my guitar because it doesn’t completely close up the soundhole. For those who many not be in on the musician vernacular (or do not have advanced knowledge about acoustic guitars), sometimes electric-acoustic guitars (acoustic guitars you can plug into an amp) create feedback when in front of a monitor or amp. It’s not pleasant. It’s actually quite annoying. I was recommended by my guitar tech to buy a feedback suppressor so I could play live with my guitar but not experience the womp of feedback noise when I played. I bought the cheapest one, not really knowing there were different types out there. (To those who are familiar with feedback suppressors, I purchased the Planet Waves Screeching Halt) It was basically a rubber plug you stick in the soundhole – and it worked. The thing was, I had to detune and retune every time I put it in or took it out because I wasn’t able to humidify my guitar otherwise. (I have a little humidifier I place in the soundhole when I’m not using the guitar to keep the wood in good shape. This also helps the guitar stay in tune. We often forget how delicate wooden guitars really are. Don’t forget wood expands with heat and contracts with cold, just like anything else) I love my guitar, (Baby Britain is her name) but she does not like being constantly tuned and retuned like that. It would create too much stress on the neck and strings would end up popping off to add to my annoyance. Aside from that, I also think the suppressor was too big for the soundhole. It should have been smaller. (It was a real pain to put in a take out)

urlSo behold the O-Port. It’s designed so you only have to detune and retune your guitar once. You detune to install it and retune and use forever! Not only does it suppress feedback, but it creates way better tone due to the mechanics and shape of the plastic. The bigger end goes inside the guitar with the smaller “O” going on the side of the soundhole. Plus it’s open so I can comfortably fit my humidifier in there. Pretty neat, huh? I think so too.

I hope to start playing live again soon. It kind of sucks because I no longer have my own car (Winter 2k13 took my catalytic converter) and have to rely on the availability of my mom’s car. She recently started to take classes again, so I can really only use it where there are gaps in her schedule. Maybe I’ll do a StageIt show soon. Wonder if anyone would be into that…I’m gonna def look into it.

Thanks for reading, y’all. At the very least, I hope you learned something new about guitars 😉

Don’t forget to check out my eBay stuff!

Oliver Platt And My CinderElmo Roots

51DKdAsT6-L._SS500_I finished watching The Big C yesterday and freakin’ cried. Omg, what a great series – even though it got cut short! Guys, if you have Optimum (or Showtime Anytime) you can watch all the seasons! I highly recommend.

But anyway, today I was making Maui Wowee bars (they came out DELISH, by the way. So easy too!) and thinking about the show MV5BMzkzNDgzNjEyM15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzQzODA0._V1_SX640_SY720_when I realized the first time I saw Oliver Platt in anything was CinderElmo. It was my brother’s favorite movie when he was a tot, so naturally I’ve watched it many times. We’re only 8 years apart. It just cracked me up contrasting his character then to Paul Jamison whom we see dropping f-bombs, having affairs, snorting coke, and getting piss drunk. I love it. Platt was also in Bicentennial Man, which is one of my favorite movies of all time.

I thought he and Laura Linney made a great TV couple for The Big C. I wonder if it would have ended the same had it not been cancelled…Okay, no spoilers. Watch it!

Is This a Common Millennial Problem?

This week I’ve resolved to apply to at least one job a day until I get something. I know that sounds kind of pathetic, but I’ve promised myself so I gotta do it.

Beforehand I would do like 6 a day or a few every 2 weeks or something and then sometimes, for days at a time, none at all.

I hate doing it. I really do. But I feel like I have to.

The thing that drives me most crazy is when you attach your resume AND your cover letter AND your references AND your letters of recommendation, and they ask you to basically RE-TYPE EVERYTHING you’ve listed. Nothing gets me more heated. Like wtf, I just GAVE it to you! Quit have your computer scan for keywords you’re making me type in (for this ridiculous position I probably won’t get anyway) and just look at the damn piece of cyber-paper I gave you (that took an astronomical amount of time to squeeze onto one legible page, anyway)! It feels so insulting after awhile.

And I get it – Companies get inundated with applications. How are they supposed to get through it all? Yeah, I’m a Libra. I see both sides of the coin here. It’s just when you’re actually living one side, it gets really frustrating to understand the side of the other.

To be honest, the way things are going I don’t know the universe wants me to have a job just yet. I’m depended on for a lot right now, especially in my family life: Nonna care, meals, cleaning, laundry, etc. I’m luckily in a position where I don’t need to be 100% self-reliant right now. So aside from kicking myself whilst filling out job apps and taking care of my grandmother and parents’ house these are some other things I’ve been doing:

  • Walking – at least 45 minutes a day. At the track, around town, to and from the library
  • READING! I’m really rediscovering my childhood bookworm roots. I’m on a mission to finish all the books I never got the chance to read in school (and maybe reread the ones I liked). Just finished The Perks of Being A Wallflower and gonna move on to Baruch Spinoza’s Ethics tomorrow – Wish me luck!
  • eBay – I’ve designated myself as the official “clutter remover” of my household. I think so far I’ve been making about $100 a month reselling things that have just been sitting in my house (with my mom’s permission, of course)!
  • Blogging! (Duh.) Every day I wake up with the intention of blogging, sometimes it gets done, sometimes not. But I do TRY. Today was a success.
  • Limited TV time – I’d hate myself if I did nothing but watch TV all day. (I sometimes did that as a kid and really hated myself afterwards. I hate wasting time) But I DO think it’s important to watch news, educational things and/or quality TV a.k.a TV with good scripts and actors. So NO reality junk or game shows or Jerry Springer. Recently I’ve been watching The Big C. So good, you guys! V upset it got cancelled too. Laura Linney is da bomb

I’m still writing songs and baking when the weather cools down sometimes. I also finally learned how to use my grill! So things are okay for me. They really are. I am being useful. I am doing something with my life. It’s just not in a 9 to 5 format. At least not now. Maybe that day will come soon, but not now.

Are there any other 20-somethings out there who are having a similar job experience (or lack thereof)? Let me know in the comments. Let’s chat 🙂

Vulnerable Snapshot

Last week I cried watching Dead Poets Society.

I don’t know why this is important, but I feel like it is.

Maybe it’s because seeing Neil kill himself and knowing Robin Williams suffered a similar fate…I don’t know. I used to cry watching the movie before, but now it’s a whole other ballgame.

My Nonna came home from her rehab center today. Now that I think about it, she’s been gone for about a month. She was at the hospital before the rehab center. She basically threw herself into congestive heart failure in the hospital emergency room, freaking out and being overdramatic about pain in her knee. Not to discount her pain. I know she was in a lot of it. But if you know Nonna, you know she has a flair for the overdramatic. Her anxiety and constant hyperventilating was more than enough to make her body fill her lungs with water. The doctors called it “flash pulmonary edema”. I was there with my mom that night, and I meant to write about the whole experience but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I kept procrastinating it.

And maybe there’s not so much to say anymore aside from the fact this was the second time I accompanied my mom to the hospital for a Nonna-related incident. This trip scared me the most though. I tried to breathe with her to steady her breath as the doctors and nurses and technicians were hooking her up to machines to get her to breathe right; In that moment I felt my tears well up. I tried to ignore them, realizing I was breathing more for me than for her. My mom and I didn’t get home ’til about a quarter to four in the morning.

The first Nonna hospital emergency room trip I experienced, I couldn’t help feeling that it was some coming-of-age trial that Life was throwing at me. Demanding me to grow up. Life gets real serious in hospitals.

I don’t know if there’s a point in telling you all this, but maybe I just felt it needed to be said.

I baked Gluten-Free/Dairy Free Orange Creme Cupcakes today, for Nonna. She liked them. She seems to like everything I bake so I’m not sure if she really did or not or if she’d ever tell me otherwise. And although I grated part of my thumb while making orange zest, I’m definitely getting better at making icing. Definitely not one of my strong suits. I always tend to fuck it up somehow. Today was the closest it came to being perfect. I think I had too much liquid/not enough sugar. Next time. It’s always a learning experience and that’s okay. And that goes for everything.

I’m really glad Nonna’s home. I thought I wouldn’t be. No offense to her, but it was kind of like a nice break for my family and me. I could be more liberal with dinner choices, my mom was sleeping all the way though the night without having to wake up to check on her. I could also walk around my room as early or as late as I liked (she sleeps in the room below mine). But now it’s nice to hear her voice again and feel her skin and give her hugs for no reason and have her taste my cupcakes. She’s definitely stronger and in less pain than the last time she was here – and I’m happy for that.

You know, last week I did take out a part of my day to mourn Robin Williams death. I made sure I was alone and just encouraged the tears to come. They did. And after I had cried I felt like a weight had been lifted, and I’m still not sure why that happens – why it feels like such a relief. My head felt lighter. I talked to the air for a bit and then got a tissue and cleaned myself up.

So I thank you for reading this vulnerable snapshot into my life. It just feels nice to share sometimes.

I’m a Functioning Depressive

I think I’m what you’d call a functioning depressed person. Kind of like a functioning alcoholic, you know?

But when I think about it, who is not depressed these days? Especially in my generation. There’re so many things to be sad about, though I think the root lies in cultural/social alienation – not fitting in, not belonging, not feeling wanted.

That’s how I feel.

The world don’t want me ’cause I don’t look good on paper; I can’t find a job in something I want. And I feel like the outsider because of it. I feel like an outcast because of my differences, my underground interests. I’m an oddity, too self-aware for my own good.

But maybe it’s not depression. Maybe it’s some artificial need to label everything. After all, it is the 21st century. Could it just be the causality of life? A side-effect of technological drowning?

But I love. I love deeply. I do and I can.

And I laugh. I joke. I do everything to make others laugh.

I’m also responsible. I do laundry and dishes and cook and clean.

I don’t cower in bed all day. I walk in the morning and smile at the sunshine and breeze.

But I still don’t feel right inside.

And you know, even though I don’t have a job, I don’t feel unfulfilled in that regard. It’s mostly the fear of what others think that bring me down. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on “office life”. In fact, I feel I’ve had my fill.

I don’t know.

Some days everything matters. Others, nothing.

All I can do is smile through the indifference.