Fruit Loops hit the bowl. Multi-colored, muted-neon breakfast circles; Cheerios on acid, LSD. The toucan is just a hallucination. Even as a kid, this cereal never made me excited. If I ever asked for it, it was only because of seeing commercials on TV channels I wasn’t supposed to be watching anyway. How do you even describe the predatory aspect of marketing to a kid? I remember tasting Fruity Pebbles once. I think it came in some cereal sampler pack my mom had bought at the grocery store. I remember that overly sweet, saccharin taste so much so, it made my brain hurt. I think I pretended to like it because to be allowed this indulgence was absolutely unheard of in my house. But man, was it nasty. I never went to it again, never asked for it again.

I remember in college though, the indulgences of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Lucky Charms (Happy St. Patrick’s Day). These two corn syrup part-triumvirates I could get behind – and still would if given the chance. Whether it was breakfast or a before class snack, to me those cereals are timeless classics, objectively delicious desserts probably. Not so much breakfast. And it’s still amazing to me how many sugary sweet things are sold and marketed to kids as being “balanced” or “healthy”. I would even think a bakery pastry would have more nutritional value –

Author: Roe

she/her. Songwriter & Trek Punk Soul™.

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