freeze frame

Record scratch, freeze frame – “You may be asking yourself how I got here,”. A white male protagonist is paused on the VHS player, about to grab a piece of pizza. The paused shot is not static but seems to be in a quiet war, tightly moving back and forth. As a child, I was told not to pause tapes, but stop them – because pausing and holding was bad for the tape, being held in place, storyline suspended indefinitely. I can smell the stale odor of stale snacks like Doritos and cheddar popcorn. The room is dark, the night is certain, and only the blue light from the small 4:3 television illuminates this den of stink. Flannel shirt, plaid futon. 90s aesthetic tragedy. Linoleum floor where it is certain that a soda was spilled and not cleaned up. The sticky sweet carbonation also finding its place within the nasal EQ of scents. The frequency differentiation in combination of its allies and counterparts. Noteworthy to mention that ludicrous as it may seem, this messy environment may be of comfort to some. But not to me. Surge! soda, red plastic lunchbox displaying Scooby Doo or Power Rangers. Plaques and trophys on the wall, displayed – for no one. How did we get here? Rainbows appear over this neighborhood no more. No pot of gold, St. Patrick’s Day skip-over. Even Santa doesn’t care. Grey clouds, nighttime always. Drafty house and basement where the cold air gets in too easily. It seems to be taunting; One foot in, one foot out. Crossing lines, on the line of annoyance it never fully crosses but does cross. Time stops. Clockstoppers. Film directed by Jonathan Frakes I think I saw as a kid, solely for the purpose because it was directed by Jonathan Frakes. Not sure if there were any other kids who saw it with that specific motivation. Time is always fun to muse about. It is reality drenched in theories and fantasy components. There are extensions to time, relations to Time. Bogged down by numbers and linear reality. Waiting for no one. Even in smells and junkie daydreams, you can’t truly go back in time. Annorax and his White Whale. Trek on track to the focal point of everything. I don’t know what the point is, no one does. They can claim to, and that’s fine. But it’s not objective reality, objective truth. It is not sustainable and will not last forever.

Author: Roe

30. she/her. Songwriter & Trek Punk Soul™.

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