Monday Night Movie

Sometimes you just have to take yourself to the 10:30pm showing of Bohemian Rhapsody on a frigid January night.

A self-care solo date. It’s what I do best. On a Monday, no less.

When it ended, I was shocked to find it was 1 o’clock in the morning and drove home in the car, shivering.

When I was a teenager, I used to watch music videos for hours and hours on end. Sometimes on MTV, sometimes on Fuse, sometimes on the Internet. And I usually would stop when I A) Felt inspired or B) Became annoyed and frustrated by the inane trash that passed for music. But in either of those instances, I would storm up to my room, compelled to play my guitar and sing and write songs.

This film reminded me of those moments and of those feelings that pop open the cap home alone after school on an ordinary weekday.

Freddie Mercury’s confidence is contagious, as is Rami Malek’s portrayal of him. I found myself electrified and wide awake; A near-empty movie theatre, a row all to myself with no cell phones in front or in my periphery. The movie-going experience tonight was uninterrupted and perfect. As it should always be, but rarely is.

Mid-film as I listened to Brian May’s guitar parts, I felt compelled to grab my own and vowed to learn every single Queen song and solo and knowing I could. So, so confident that I could and can master those masterpieces. Without doubt, without question.

Sometimes I find myself in the midst of conversation, attempting to explain to a man how difficult it is for women in music, how difficult it’s been for me, particularly. And they all seem to look at me with this blank stare that they A) Don’t know what to do with themselves or B) Don’t know what I’m talking about. And I don’t know why I continue to explain it, or attempt to explain it. My struggle is something that does not exist to them.

But watching this film tonight gave me much needed hope. energy, and inspiration to know that I can succeed and can overcome any obstacles that stand in my way.

Give me a rhythm, give me a beat, give me Freddie Mercury’s microphone.

And I will show you and the world what I am made of.


Author: Roe

she/her. Songwriter & Trek Punk Soul™.

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