I was recently informed tonight that someone I knew quite well died suddenly.
And as soon as I heard the news through the cell phone receiver on a phone call that was not mine, I could feel the energy being sucked from my body. Like a dementor’s kiss, but the dementor has an invisibility cloak. I can’t see it, only feel it. Feel my energy slipping, slipping away as my body grieves what my eyes (and ears) cannot process.
I felt like falling and collapsing.
I (still) feel my energy dwindling.
I feel lightheaded and sad.
And in disbelief.
But maybe mostly stunned and sad.
When I feel like this, I like to be left alone in silence; No TV on, don’t talk to me, no music.
I need the silence to cradle the moment or else I might break.
I had to call someone to tell them the news. And it was hard.
And now I’m sitting in silence, hoping this will provide a minor cathartic release.
But I’m not sure if it is…